| Chili Bloop Bloop |
[09 Jul 2009|10:43am] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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music |
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Bat For Lashes- Daniel |
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Half of my lil stash is gone...and I've been babying it ....I'm now pissed.
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| ....Txt Msg... |
[04 Jul 2009|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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Nothing but the fan on high |
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Well hello there, Ima have a baby.
0_0
Have you heard the news?
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| The ants are eating me... |
[29 Jun 2009|02:51pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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music |
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The Fan...running on high |
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I must seem tasty to them because their on my bed biting my legs like I'm the last sorce of food left. It's anoying and I want themto go away.
I love the idea for your mask! I love love the second one it's so bright and colorfull it rocks. I tried to update this twice last night with no luck. Blurty suddenly hated my words and got rid of them so I'll try again. As for your falls good luck with them. I've never done them out of the stuff your useing. If I had known you wanted rainbow ones for the rave I would have made you some. I need to get my ass in gear and work on mine I have a long way to go if I want to wear them for Fire.....and project fire is a good name lol. Ariana is going as a dyrid I geuss...also known as a forest fairy of sorts. I told her she should have picked something more colorful but the hippy in her said DYRID...so what ever. I also sewed me up a lil teddy bear hoodie with ears and bleeding heart. Cause I dunno how long this is lasting is it like 1 night? Tell me oh masterful one with all the info! Also since Ariana and I are going to be up there befor the event I was thinking we should have a candy making party of goodness in the hotel room at some point. We made a few here but ours just don't seem to rock socks like yours do. Though I did find these little plastic guns and put them on my candy with the word BANG on it...made me laugh a little. Not to mention all of the buttons I adopted and turned into pretties.
As for my costume it's not ready for picture taking yet..but I got the idea because I've been RPing a faun in Secondlife these days...also as a bunny but I thought a faun would be easier and I'm totally not play boy bunny material lol. Anyways I got the idea and I knew what I wanted but I needed a picture to go off of so I did a lil google search and found some ideas and this is the one I liked the most. My top is going to be WAY diffrent and I probably won't have random ass feathers in my hair. But I will have my black dreadfalls and who knows what my makeup will look like. You know me and my epic makeup ^_^.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2062/1785786055_23687fb272.jpg%3Fv%3D0&imgrefurl=http://flickr.com/photos/9848999%40N08/1785786055/&usg=__oytkobvRUaVAOahBCMdiWrQWI8w=&h=500&w=318&sz=92&hl=en&start=25&tbnid=2lOmxpEV_fwRbM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=83&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfaun%2Bcostume%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26start%3D18
My pants are like 100 time cooler since their made of real fur....I'm pretty sure its mink or something. Some random old coat I found in the garage my mom was just going to toss out. And I've got to work on my hooves too mine will be better then hers as well but you get the idea. Anyways I'm tired, work was super awsomely horrid today so I'm going to pass out for a bit I think. Peace and love yo!
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| Garden |
[27 Jun 2009|08:31pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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Tv....movie crap |
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I hate that my parents act like I'm suppose to stand there while they water their plants and talk to them like everything in the world is amazing and I have a million things to say to them. But I'm sorry nothing has changed since yesterday. I didn't work today so nothing happend, I don't have boyfriend drama because I don't have a boyfriend. Theres nothing amazing in my life to tell them and they want to act all hurt because I have nothing to say. And I don't want to hear my mom's drama filled work day because honestly it's the same shit that happend to her yesterday. I looked at the garden...yay theres cucumbers and tomatoes I already saw that. No I'm not going to jump up and down and squeel like a school girl. I'm not 8 anymore and honesty have I ever done that.
I just want to hit them and tell them I'd rather be in portland or doing drugs or even drinking like crazy so I don't have to deal with there stupid looks and their stupid conversations. Nothing matters here, It's just one more stepping stone. One more mintue I have to kill befor I can get on with my life.
I wish there was one good thing about here so I wouldn't hate it so much. I don't even have someone to give hugs here. It's lame I miss my portland and it's hugeness. And I miss you my gal pal who I can tell every little thing too.
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| Garden |
[27 Jun 2009|08:31pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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music |
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Tv....movie crap |
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I hate that my parents act like I'm suppose to stand there while they water their plants and talk to them like everything in the world is amazing and I have a million things to say to them. But I'm sorry nothing has changed since yesterday. I didn't work today so nothing happend, I don't have boyfriend drama because I don't have a boyfriend. Theres nothing amazing in my life to tell them and they want to act all hurt because I have nothing to say. And I don't want to hear my mom's drama filled work day because honestly it's the same shit that happend to her yesterday. I looked at the garden...yay theres cucumbers and tomatoes I already saw that. No I'm not going to jump up and down and squeel like a school girl. I'm not 8 anymore and honesty have I ever done that.
I just want to hit them and tell them I'd rather be in portland or doing drugs or even drinking like crazy so I don't have to deal with there stupid looks and their stupid conversations. Nothing matters here, It's just one more stepping stone. One more mintue I have to kill befor I can get on with my life.
I wish there was one good thing about here so I wouldn't hate it so much. I don't even have someone to give hugs here. It's lame I miss my portland and it's hugeness. And I miss you my gal pal who I can tell every little thing too.
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| Stupid People |
[27 Jun 2009|12:54am] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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music |
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Ingrid-Be Ok |
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I'm tired of hearing the jokes about his death it's just.....rude. I slept most of the day away yesterday and today. I missed your voice too, it's nice to have someone to talk to other then Ariana and my mom. I don't have many friends down here. It's not like I have ANYTHING in common with any of them any more. Andy dosn't talk to me much, now and then when she needs to rant about Nick or something her new boy toy did.
Speaking of boy toys Joe came to see me the other day. And he's pretty much off the hard drugs he's gone from 135lbs to 195lbs he's looking flipping good. He still has things in his mind he needs to fix but, still he's looking good. I told him about fire, he was excited and said he wanted to go but I dunno... I don't know about much these days.
I'm so excited about Fire though! I'm excited to dress as a faun I'm almost done with my pants and I'm just going to wear an awsome leather corset Ariana has. And then I'll have my black dreads finished by then and maybe I'll get some eats and such. Also I'm making the hooves out of styrofoam over an old pair of comfy shoes. It'll be good and I bought bunch of beads to make some pretties. Not to mention I made afew specail ones out of clay lil dragons and weird little creatures and such it'll be good times.
I'm going to pull out my tent here in a few days to let it soak up some sun and maybe air out and make it smell good instead of yucky storage space. I don't know I don't have much to update on sadly.
OH FUCKIN I DO!
Theres an old man at my work who keeps sexually harrasing me! Fucking fucker, he like rubs himself up against my ass and like force hugs me and the other day he fuckin hugged me and grabbed my boob. I told a few people at work and they thought it was funny cause he's old and blah blah blah. What the fuck ever the fucker is old and needs to keep his hands off me. Or I'm gonna crush his balls wih a walnut crusher. Freaky fuck.
I'm tired, I should go to bed. I miss you mudkip...Bunches and I can't wait to see you!!
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| I dont know... |
[22 Jun 2009|11:08pm] |
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mood |
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Broken |
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music |
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Ingrid-Be ok |
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I'm just tired...over worked, under paid. But then again who isn't these days...I'm looking for something in this world of broken glass and empty boxes. What though....what is it that I want so badly. Once I thought it was happiness...but...we all change so often that what brings us happiness is lost and short lived. I thought I wanted to marry and start a family. And look where that got me, in a worse place then I was befor and confused...so very confused. I miss the city...I miss my true friends...this place is toxic and sick, makes me restless and unable to sleep normal hours. I miss the smell of smog and the sound of dump trucks combing the streets and gawdawful hours of the morning. I miss that nasty greasy chinese food we use to live off of. But I don't know how to get back there....how to start all over again. I'm scared that I'll fail.....I'm scared of so much. What if I find no one, I know people say I will but what if I don't....I don't want to live this life with no one. And I'm so fucking scared that if I do find someone they'll try to change me. I know I know change...is good. But not stripping ones entire being and making them into something they never wanted to be....I dont know, I think maybe I'm just human and sick in the head always wanting more and never having enough. That is how we're raised there days with our throw away phones and replacable everything.....I'm rambling, thats what happens though when you work 13 hours in a day and your on your 8th day straight
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| ----Depression Pills---- |
[28 Mar 2009|03:06am] |
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mood |
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Deep Fried Robot |
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music |
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Suck it... |
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Trapped beneth skin like a fat tick sucking the life right out of the body, it's like some cold hearted bum set up shop deep in your soul. They fight you for your air, unwilling to let you control your own thought process like some robot set on override. Some sorta acid trip, where the catapiller asks if you want the pill that throws the kill switch and turns you into zombie, deep fried robot running on empty. Emotionless like a listless kite, caged behind the limbs of the withering tree thats choking on our smog. Nothinging ness is left of your spirit stubed out like some half attemped forest fire. Your ember left to die cold and lonely on the wind.....
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| Bindge.... |
[20 Mar 2009|11:52pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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The Hushsound---Wine Red |
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Purge....
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--
---10
----L
-----B
------S
Your Dizzyness makes me fall down, my ribs bust from my chest as I heave in your name.I can hear the pounding in my head like the little drumer boy is on acid. My arms to wore out to move, my legs begging for less work but I push them farther for you....Just promise to make me what I want to be...please..
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| Day 3 |
[18 Mar 2009|06:47am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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Paper Bag- Fiona Apple |
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I've missed you, forgotten how you taste. How it felt to be so empty yet so alive. I'm glad I found you again on that old road. Soon I promise we'll be where we once were, with our heads held high and that glint in our eye. I know , I rhyme so much but it's how I feel. Thank you...for coming back to me, making me feel dizzy again, like iced fingers running down my spin.
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| I hate you, i love you....why.. |
[25 Feb 2009|11:36pm] |
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mood |
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broken |
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music |
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The Moldy Peaches- Goodbye Song |
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Why is it you keep coming back into my life like some weird sickness that is never ending. There's this weakness in my heart for you, like I hear from you, and all matter of reason flys out the fucking window. It's like my heart says " Oh hello, let me open up to you listen to me confess my love for you. All for you to just spit on me and run off with stupid little girls." And all the while as my heart gets torn out and beaten to death my mind keeps screaming at me to run the fuck away. And I, I just stand there like some awe struck child looking at a unicorn that isn't even real. I talk with you, listen to your pain and heart ache and tell you everything will be ok and that someone better is meant for you. Meeeee...I'm that better person I swear!
I don't hear from you in months because we fight over the fact you think i'm running around being a slut. Handing out my body like it's 10 cent candy. But really I'm not...I'm not some lilttle whore, your just jelouse and not willing to admit it. I love that you just txt me out of the blue to tell me how dandy your life is, please can't you just pour some more salt in my wounds. I'm glad work is great for you, that you finally got the car you always wanted and that your love life is going swell. It's even better when you tell me that you miss me, and really wanna fuck me..that makes my heart swell with such love...such...amazment that all I am to you is sex. And we've never even had sex!!!
I loved you..with every little fiber in my entire body. All I ever wanted to do was to be with you and try and give us a chance. But no, you were to worried to leave your little girlfriend in the first place. Who you told me you didn't love which you pretty much proved since you were at my place...all the time. I just don't understand, if you don't have any type of feelings for me other then sexual then why in gods name do you keep coming back to me to rip my heart out. I tell you it's ok for me to be a fantasy and you get hurt...well it hurts me. I love you and want to be everything to you. And I'm not, someone else gets to be your everything.
Why the hell do you txt me tell me that you miss me...my touch my eyes how easy it is to open up to me. Tell me that I make it so easy for you to be you. Tell me all these things that you don't regret me and so on...and then...then you tell me that'd it'd be best if we just don't talk anymore. That it would be easier for you to love the person you're with if we don't speak. If I'm not in your life. I havn't been in your life for the last few months, I havn't talked to you, e-mailed you or anything. You could have just left me alone, I was starting to forget you again. But no! Everytime I start to forget you, you pop up again and tell me you miss me. Thank you, thank you so much for fucking up my heart again. So now I can sit here in my head and think of what possibly could have happend. I wish there was some sort of pill to take so I could forget you.
Thanks for saying I'm nice..and loving and caring and a great person. But this nice..loving, caring person is tired of being crapped on so much by you. You say you have feelings prove it, either give me the chance i deserve or leave me alone. For some god awful reason you'r my damn weakness and no matter what I'll always let you in when your around. No matter what.sooo....as you wish. In your last txt you asked me not to speak to you anymore. So...this is it good bye....Goodbye till you want to talk to me again...Goodbye ...Lee
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| New Way To Say Hooray |
[16 Feb 2009|04:06am] |
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mood |
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Shpongle - The Dorset Perception |
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Has to be my fave so far..I'm sure I'll find more that I love but that one is on the top of my list as of now. I might like others..I'm currently DL there entire lifes work onto Ariana's computer. We shall see. Other then that life is fucking grand kiddies.
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| It's What I Want To Be... |
[15 Jan 2009|02:34am] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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music |
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The Killers |
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So this is my first post to test out my colors, background and fonts and so on. Hopefully it looks ok to start we'll see how I like it in a few days. As for now I think it's time for some rest since I have to go to work tomorrow and I need some sleep. Darn work!
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